Movie Review "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"

The month of May is a pretty great month for a number of reasons. Spring is here. It's warmer and sunnier (this sort of applies here in Seattle). I have a birthday. School is finishing up. All of those are pretty nice, but the really big one is that summer movies begin. This year they began last Friday with a new X-Men movie all about the character that the other 3 movies were about; Wolverine. Yep, except this time we delve into his past and learn all the things that we all ready knew from the other 3 X-Men movies. Seriously, was there anything about this guy that I didn't all ready know that I needed to know? I guess maybe a little. Here are some of the new things we learn about him.

-He has been alive for over 160 years and has managed to keep the same haircut and facial hair throughout all of it. No small feat.

-Dem claws used to be funky looking bone claws that are infinitely less cool.

-He has spent 160 years being surrounded by jerks. Jerk brother, jerk boss, jerk coworkers, jerk girlfriend. Lots of jerks. So he's angry about all that.

-Wherever he goes...you guessed it...trouble follows.

-He basically cannot die. It used to be he couldn't die sort of in a James Bond kind of way, but nope, he literally can't really die. Even when he does die he can just "heal" back to life.

Wow, knowing all that I can really sink deep into this character now. Its like there were whole dimensions here that I never knew about. All in all to call this movie bad might not be too accurate, but it is definitely not accurate to call it good either. It is amazing that despite being released after the first 3 X-Men movies this one looks (in terms of the special effects) like it might have been made first. The fight scenes were soooo incredible that they essentially repeated the same one about 4 times (extend claws, run and yell, jump into enemy with claws extended, repeat as necessary). And for intense drama they turned to none other than the wussified Darth Vader to be an acting coach. Has anyone ever actually been so emotionally angry that their only course of action was to yell "Nooooo" at the sky? Lastly this movie never encountered a plot hole or inconsistency or question that it couldn't answer by throwing in more and more characters. Beautiful man. And ladies, speaking of a beautiful man, this movie is your chance to see Hugh Jackman's backside. Thats right. Considering that he is a producer of this movie I find this sort of funny.

So all in all the good news is that summer movies have begun and there are many more on the way that are not necessarily this one.