Bringing an end to tornadoes

One of my not exactly a secret, but not often talked about pleasures is enjoying a storm from the safety and warmth of the indoors. Its quite relaxing, even soothing. And there is nothing quite like nestling down into bed and going to sleep to the sounds of thunder and rain. Of course all of this is very different when that storm could potentially become so violent that it blows the roof off your house! Not quite so nice then. I never had to worry about that before, but now I live in twister country and at least for right now, during tornado season, those days are over.

Fortunately tornadoes are predicable most of the time and the city has warning alarms to alert you of approaching funnel clouds. Unfortunately these not only sound like air raid sirens, but they can occur at any time like at 5:30 in the morning which is exactly what happened with my first tornado out here. Later that same day, the sirens went off just when I had settled down to watch some television programs that were completely interrupted by weather alerts, spoiling my plans for the evening. I suppose a tornado is never convenient and despite it being almost twenty years since the tornado awareness movie Twister was released, we still have not found a way to defeat tornadoes. In fact I am not sure we have made any progress there at all. And then just last year, the all ready a classic film, Sharknado, reminded us that a tornado is really the result of the convergence of warm and cool air.

 

They theorized that if you could disrupt that, you could stop a tornado. Using bombs thrown from helicopters they superheated the tornado and caused it to dissipate, a tornado filled with man eating sharks no less! All Twister wanted to do was release probes or something into tornadoes, but Sharknado goes for solutions! Imagine if this could work. We'd have emergency tornado response teams that would fly what I can only assume would be totally killer jets armed with anti-tornado missiles! Inevitably this would pave the wave for a movie about some renegade tornado busting partners where because of their brashness one of them will be lost to a tornado forcing the other to blame himself and question whether he can continue fighting tornadoes, but ultimately will come back to stop the biggest tornado this world has ever seen! It'll be Top Gun with tornadoes and will be called something like, I dunno, Windbreakers. Man, I look forward to that! In the mean time, all I can do is pay attention to the weather, listen for sirens, and be smart. I don't have an ol' cellar to hide out in or even a basement to wait them out, but I do have a bathtub and apparently thats the best I can do right now.