Red beards

Science has recently discovered a new species of monkey. The extraordinary thing about this monkey is that it sports a big, bushy, red beard. In related news, these monkeys, despite only recently being discovered, have been rocketed to the front of the cool monkey line. Here's a picture:

Ha, ha! That is an entirely different red bearded primate. Here's the actual red bearded monkey:

The resemblance is amazing, but wait, there's more! The similarities between this and the previously pictured primate extend beyond awesome chin fur.

• The red bearded monkey is a strictly monogamous animal. While the other red beard does not currently practice any sort of "gamy" he is certainly in favor of monogamy. Rarely he is actually spotted trying to establish such a pairing, but to no avail. He appears to need all the help he can get.

• Because of deforestation, the red bearded monkey is an endangered species. Likewise, the other red beard is increasingly becoming an endangered species. Not because of deforestation, but rather from increasing age and his lack of any sort of "gamy" as noted earlier. If these trends continue, his kind will vanish from the earth. If thats not endangered then I don't know what is! Of course being endangered makes these red beards extremely rare and unique. The other red beard likes the way this sounds more than being endangered.

• Interestingly enough, both the red bearded monkey and the other red beard agree that Transformers are way cooler than G.I. Joes.

Ah, so like us. As these kindred spirits clearly illustrate, the difference between monkey and man is perhaps smaller than we thought.