Movie Review "The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies"

Finally, after dragging this thing out as long as possible, we get a big finale. We finish with five titular armies, all duking it out. You can tell all the armies apart because each is comprised of a different race, with different accents, armors, weapons, and, most impressively, various battle mounts. By my count there were horses, elk stags, pigs, rams (which clearly set themselves apart from the others), and wargs. In the rest of Middle Earth, we have also seen other equines, mûmakil (oliphaunts), and fell beasts used as mounts. Of course, there are also the giant eagles that are ridden from time to time, but are not the mount of any. In the real world, we can match some of these, but are generally left lacking. We also ride horses and such and elephants are comparable, though inferior, to the mûmakil. The closest we come to the eagles are with the flightless and infinitely less godly, ostrich. While we have occasionally mastered individuals from some of these species, we have not successfully employed utilizing elk (unless you let us count Santa Claus), rams, or pigs (not to mention wargs or fell beasts) on the grand scale, but as best I can tell, Middle Earth has nothing to compare to our riding camels, or the occasional mad bull. Its hard to really make the case that we have done better in this regard. Once again, Middle Earth appears to be a preferable place to the real world. And thats not even counting the gorgeous scenery, beautiful people, amazing architecture, oh, and all that magic stuff too. Plus, in the Shire it appears that all you have to care about is good food, good company and being lazily comfortable. Truly a paradise. Well, just like these movies, this has gone on long enough with little focus, but hopefully still at least mildly pleasing.