I have been planning on doing a summer movie review of all the big summer movies that I saw, but despite what my mother thinks I have actually been busy. Anyway tonight I am taking it easy so here it goes. I will review them in the order that I saw them.
Spiderman 3
I never really have gotten into this series. I am blown away by how successful it has been. I like Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker, but there is almost nothing else about these movies that I like. Even the special effects seem a little out of date to me for some reason. Anyway that being said I think I was looking forward to this one for some reason. I remember liking it at the time that I saw it. Seemed a little long, but I got exactly what I expected which was more of the same melodramatic/emo suffering that dominated the first 2 Spiderman movies. It had one scene that I liked and that was the "bad" Peter Parker strutting his stuff all over town picking up on the ladies even though they still see him for the loser nerd that he is. The second Spiderman movie had a similar scene in it set to "Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head". I think that these are the scenes that director Sam Raimi does best. Anyway after thinking about it some more this movie really isn't that good. The Sandman character is completely worthless and not necessary. Mary Jane is at her most annoying levels. Eddie Brock is a little laughable. Like I said it is a little long. Like the other Spiderman movies no scenes really stand out to me as something that I would like to see again. Being consistent with the others Peter Parker is once again just about the only thing that I liked in this movie. Tobey catches his noble nerdiness quite well.
Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End
So as far as I am concerned they missed a great opportunity with this series. Lets face it. The only really great thing about Pirates of the Caribbean is Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow. Its not like the plots are really incredible or anything. Everything is pretty standard in these movies except that Jack is a great character that pretty much everyone likes. No one was going to these movies to see the others (although they may have provided some eye candy or something, though I am not a big Keira Knightley fan). It was all about Jack. Nevertheless they decided to cram more of these "side" characters into the plot and make them have big roles. I think since Jack is the real deal for these movies rather then move in the standard trilogy direction that everyone is going in these days they should have approached this series in the same way as a James Bond or Indiana Jones movie. Each movie just follows Jack Sparrow on some crazy new adventure. New characters in each one. New plots. Each one would stand alone and would not require the other movies. There wouldn't be continuity between the movies. That is you wouldn't need to see the others to follow along with the one you are watching. I think that would have been the better move. Having said that I think this one is a lot better than the second one for a few reasons. First and foremost Keith Richards is in it (the best cameo since David Bowie in Zoolander). This was easily my favorite part. Secondly it seems like there is more pirating in this one than the second. More boating and pirate banter. The first in the series is still the best by far (its the only one that stands alone too), but this one is better than the second one.
Transformers
When I first heard that they were making a Transformers movie I thought "They are going to make the same mistake that they made with Aliens vs Predator". That is that they would claim to be making a movie about one thing, but in reality they would make a movie about humans dealing with that one thing. In this case they take a simple idea, alien robots that can transform into cars and jets come to earth to fight each other, and change it into, how are humans going to face and deal with invading alien robots that transform and who are fighting them and each other on earth. Now I still enjoyed this movie. It was everything that a summer blockbuster should be. Big special effects. Simple plots. Cheap jokes. Cheesy scenes. Catchy music that seems really cool in the moment, but in reality isn't that great. Still throughout the movie I was constantly thinking "Where are the robots?" or "Why aren't there more transformers in this movie called 'Transformers'?" Really a movie called "Transformers" should probably feature the transformers as the main characters right? Not as side characters. Unfortunately all the transformers were supporting characters to the humans and all were rather one-dimensional (though I am not sure that they were much more than one dimensional in the cartoon so this is probably ok). Getting Peter Cullen, the original voice of Optimus Prime, to once again provide his voice was great. Optimus was definitely my favorite thing in the movie. The transformation special effects were great, but the fights between robots were too fast and choppy to really appreciate everything that was going on. Even though I think that the movie needed more Robots in Disguise, I think that Shia LeBeouf's character was ok and his relationship with Bumblebee was good.
The Simpsons Movie
I thought that the chance to make a Simpsons movie had long passed. I have always been a huge Simpsons fan. To this day it is the only show that I make an effort to see each week. Still I wasn't too sure how they would handle a Simpsons movie. Plus nobody seems to like the Simpsons anymore. It just isn't in vogue to like them anymore. You constantly hear that they aren't funny anymore and that they have just been declining every year since the 8th or 9th season. Now I think that it is no longer at its highest heights, but it is still one of the funniest shows on TV today so I was interested to see how the movie worked out. The first scenes that I saw looked pretty good, but honestly the commercials didn't really make me laugh too much. The commercials for the TV show are the same I think so I wasn't too worried. My brother saw it first and said that it was hilarious so I was no longer worried. I loved it when I saw it. Its like watching 3 episodes. The first 30 minutes are hilarious. Everyone was laughing so much that I was missing more jokes. My favorite part of seeing this is that everyone in the theater was laughing even people that I was with that had never watched the Simpsons before were laughing and enjoying themselves. So the next time someone tells me that the Simpsons just aren't funny anymore I will slap them in the face and call them a liar. If I had any criticism for the movie it would be that I would have liked to see more from the other Springfield residents, but I understand completely why they would focus on the main Simpson characters for a Simpsons movie.
Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix
I forgot about seeing this one. All the Harry Potter movies seem the same to me. The characters are more or less the same. There is always a new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher that plays a big role in the movie. Harry always wants to do it all on his own, even though he can't and he needs his friends. There is always a little mystery that is wrapped up in the last 10 or 15 minutes. I have never read the books, but I can tell that these probably work better as books than as movies. I feel bad because these should be the kind of stories that I like. Magic and fantasy and all that, but I just haven't been able to get into them. Maybe I just don't like them much because everyone else does. Or maybe it is because of some mild resentment. For some reason it is ok to be a big Harry Potter fan, but it is nerdy and lame to be a big Star Wars or Lord of the Rings fan. Just like it is cool to like Heroes, but geeky to like the X-Men. Its all the same thing people! Anyway this one is more of the same. I saw this in IMAX 3D. Really what that means is the last action scene is in 3D. I guess that was neat, but 3D still has a way to go before it isn't too blurry and choppy. I had a hard time taking the big action throwdown at the end seriously. It was like kids pointing their fingers and yelling "BANG" when they play "Cowboys and Indians" or "Cops and Robbers" except instead of pointing fingers they point their little wands. I was disappointed because they killed the one character that I have liked in these movies. Oh well.
The Bourne Ultimatum
I have enjoyed the Bourne movies. I was excited to see this. It was also the first time that all of my roommates (except for 1) actually all went out together and hung out. It was a real bonding experience. Don't really know what to say. I liked this. It was more of the same, but that is a pretty good formula. The action is intense. These movies are almost exhausting to watch because the action and fighting is so real, brutal, and raw. This often leaves me feeling less and less inclined to watching these movies again and again. Plus in this one they use the "shaky" camera technique to make it seem more real which results in you feeling a little nauseated when you watch it. So I guess thats my only criticism for this movie. No more shaky camera. Otherwise this was a great movie.
Live Free or Die Hard
Again another movie that caught me by surprise when I heard it was being made. Seemed like that ship had sailed away a long time ago, but here we are with more John McClane. John McClane is pretty cool. I think that since we had the 3 other Die Hard movies to really get to know McClane this movie was fun too. If all you watched was this movie alone without having seen the other 3 I am not sure how much you would enjoy it. John McClane has some pretty good John McClane moments in this one (especially when he beats the ninja girl). The first and third Die Hards are still easily the best, but this one is pretty good. What holds it back is a sissier villain (wasn't this one of the big problems in #2) . The action scenes are really, really over the top. They are still pretty fun to watch except that just about all of them are shown in the trailers. My favorite part about this movie is the theme of how it doesn't matter how sophisticated the plan or how high tech you are, you are still going to get your butt kicked by one old fashioned, hard-nosed, ruffed up cop played by Bruce Willis who doesn't use any of that fancy crap. Just his fists and anything else he finds.
So those are all the summer movies I saw. My apologies to Ocean's 13. I would have liked to see you too. If I were to rank them I would give my favorite to the Simpsons Movie. Thats the only one I imagine owning and I could watch it a few times more. I would give a tie to the Bourne movie and Die Hard. Then maybe Transformers (it was everything a summer movie should be despite its flaws). Pirates follows closely behind Transformers. Then Harry Potter and Spiderman is definitely bringing up the caboose here. I would watch any of these some more if they were on TV one night and I was looking for something to watch.
Well there you have it. Agree? Disagree? Feel free to share your takes.
Spiderman 3I never really have gotten into this series. I am blown away by how successful it has been. I like Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker, but there is almost nothing else about these movies that I like. Even the special effects seem a little out of date to me for some reason. Anyway that being said I think I was looking forward to this one for some reason. I remember liking it at the time that I saw it. Seemed a little long, but I got exactly what I expected which was more of the same melodramatic/emo suffering that dominated the first 2 Spiderman movies. It had one scene that I liked and that was the "bad" Peter Parker strutting his stuff all over town picking up on the ladies even though they still see him for the loser nerd that he is. The second Spiderman movie had a similar scene in it set to "Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head". I think that these are the scenes that director Sam Raimi does best. Anyway after thinking about it some more this movie really isn't that good. The Sandman character is completely worthless and not necessary. Mary Jane is at her most annoying levels. Eddie Brock is a little laughable. Like I said it is a little long. Like the other Spiderman movies no scenes really stand out to me as something that I would like to see again. Being consistent with the others Peter Parker is once again just about the only thing that I liked in this movie. Tobey catches his noble nerdiness quite well.
Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's EndSo as far as I am concerned they missed a great opportunity with this series. Lets face it. The only really great thing about Pirates of the Caribbean is Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow. Its not like the plots are really incredible or anything. Everything is pretty standard in these movies except that Jack is a great character that pretty much everyone likes. No one was going to these movies to see the others (although they may have provided some eye candy or something, though I am not a big Keira Knightley fan). It was all about Jack. Nevertheless they decided to cram more of these "side" characters into the plot and make them have big roles. I think since Jack is the real deal for these movies rather then move in the standard trilogy direction that everyone is going in these days they should have approached this series in the same way as a James Bond or Indiana Jones movie. Each movie just follows Jack Sparrow on some crazy new adventure. New characters in each one. New plots. Each one would stand alone and would not require the other movies. There wouldn't be continuity between the movies. That is you wouldn't need to see the others to follow along with the one you are watching. I think that would have been the better move. Having said that I think this one is a lot better than the second one for a few reasons. First and foremost Keith Richards is in it (the best cameo since David Bowie in Zoolander). This was easily my favorite part. Secondly it seems like there is more pirating in this one than the second. More boating and pirate banter. The first in the series is still the best by far (its the only one that stands alone too), but this one is better than the second one.
TransformersWhen I first heard that they were making a Transformers movie I thought "They are going to make the same mistake that they made with Aliens vs Predator". That is that they would claim to be making a movie about one thing, but in reality they would make a movie about humans dealing with that one thing. In this case they take a simple idea, alien robots that can transform into cars and jets come to earth to fight each other, and change it into, how are humans going to face and deal with invading alien robots that transform and who are fighting them and each other on earth. Now I still enjoyed this movie. It was everything that a summer blockbuster should be. Big special effects. Simple plots. Cheap jokes. Cheesy scenes. Catchy music that seems really cool in the moment, but in reality isn't that great. Still throughout the movie I was constantly thinking "Where are the robots?" or "Why aren't there more transformers in this movie called 'Transformers'?" Really a movie called "Transformers" should probably feature the transformers as the main characters right? Not as side characters. Unfortunately all the transformers were supporting characters to the humans and all were rather one-dimensional (though I am not sure that they were much more than one dimensional in the cartoon so this is probably ok). Getting Peter Cullen, the original voice of Optimus Prime, to once again provide his voice was great. Optimus was definitely my favorite thing in the movie. The transformation special effects were great, but the fights between robots were too fast and choppy to really appreciate everything that was going on. Even though I think that the movie needed more Robots in Disguise, I think that Shia LeBeouf's character was ok and his relationship with Bumblebee was good.
The Simpsons MovieI thought that the chance to make a Simpsons movie had long passed. I have always been a huge Simpsons fan. To this day it is the only show that I make an effort to see each week. Still I wasn't too sure how they would handle a Simpsons movie. Plus nobody seems to like the Simpsons anymore. It just isn't in vogue to like them anymore. You constantly hear that they aren't funny anymore and that they have just been declining every year since the 8th or 9th season. Now I think that it is no longer at its highest heights, but it is still one of the funniest shows on TV today so I was interested to see how the movie worked out. The first scenes that I saw looked pretty good, but honestly the commercials didn't really make me laugh too much. The commercials for the TV show are the same I think so I wasn't too worried. My brother saw it first and said that it was hilarious so I was no longer worried. I loved it when I saw it. Its like watching 3 episodes. The first 30 minutes are hilarious. Everyone was laughing so much that I was missing more jokes. My favorite part of seeing this is that everyone in the theater was laughing even people that I was with that had never watched the Simpsons before were laughing and enjoying themselves. So the next time someone tells me that the Simpsons just aren't funny anymore I will slap them in the face and call them a liar. If I had any criticism for the movie it would be that I would have liked to see more from the other Springfield residents, but I understand completely why they would focus on the main Simpson characters for a Simpsons movie.
Harry Potter and The Order of the PhoenixI forgot about seeing this one. All the Harry Potter movies seem the same to me. The characters are more or less the same. There is always a new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher that plays a big role in the movie. Harry always wants to do it all on his own, even though he can't and he needs his friends. There is always a little mystery that is wrapped up in the last 10 or 15 minutes. I have never read the books, but I can tell that these probably work better as books than as movies. I feel bad because these should be the kind of stories that I like. Magic and fantasy and all that, but I just haven't been able to get into them. Maybe I just don't like them much because everyone else does. Or maybe it is because of some mild resentment. For some reason it is ok to be a big Harry Potter fan, but it is nerdy and lame to be a big Star Wars or Lord of the Rings fan. Just like it is cool to like Heroes, but geeky to like the X-Men. Its all the same thing people! Anyway this one is more of the same. I saw this in IMAX 3D. Really what that means is the last action scene is in 3D. I guess that was neat, but 3D still has a way to go before it isn't too blurry and choppy. I had a hard time taking the big action throwdown at the end seriously. It was like kids pointing their fingers and yelling "BANG" when they play "Cowboys and Indians" or "Cops and Robbers" except instead of pointing fingers they point their little wands. I was disappointed because they killed the one character that I have liked in these movies. Oh well.
The Bourne UltimatumI have enjoyed the Bourne movies. I was excited to see this. It was also the first time that all of my roommates (except for 1) actually all went out together and hung out. It was a real bonding experience. Don't really know what to say. I liked this. It was more of the same, but that is a pretty good formula. The action is intense. These movies are almost exhausting to watch because the action and fighting is so real, brutal, and raw. This often leaves me feeling less and less inclined to watching these movies again and again. Plus in this one they use the "shaky" camera technique to make it seem more real which results in you feeling a little nauseated when you watch it. So I guess thats my only criticism for this movie. No more shaky camera. Otherwise this was a great movie.
Live Free or Die HardAgain another movie that caught me by surprise when I heard it was being made. Seemed like that ship had sailed away a long time ago, but here we are with more John McClane. John McClane is pretty cool. I think that since we had the 3 other Die Hard movies to really get to know McClane this movie was fun too. If all you watched was this movie alone without having seen the other 3 I am not sure how much you would enjoy it. John McClane has some pretty good John McClane moments in this one (especially when he beats the ninja girl). The first and third Die Hards are still easily the best, but this one is pretty good. What holds it back is a sissier villain (wasn't this one of the big problems in #2) . The action scenes are really, really over the top. They are still pretty fun to watch except that just about all of them are shown in the trailers. My favorite part about this movie is the theme of how it doesn't matter how sophisticated the plan or how high tech you are, you are still going to get your butt kicked by one old fashioned, hard-nosed, ruffed up cop played by Bruce Willis who doesn't use any of that fancy crap. Just his fists and anything else he finds.
So those are all the summer movies I saw. My apologies to Ocean's 13. I would have liked to see you too. If I were to rank them I would give my favorite to the Simpsons Movie. Thats the only one I imagine owning and I could watch it a few times more. I would give a tie to the Bourne movie and Die Hard. Then maybe Transformers (it was everything a summer movie should be despite its flaws). Pirates follows closely behind Transformers. Then Harry Potter and Spiderman is definitely bringing up the caboose here. I would watch any of these some more if they were on TV one night and I was looking for something to watch.
Well there you have it. Agree? Disagree? Feel free to share your takes.
13 comments:
Wow, I hope you didn't pay full price on all these movies. Save that money and get a beard perm.
And while I am being your mom, the amount you wrote could have been half your dissertation already.
Such excellent reviews. Great post. The only ones I've seen are Bourne Ultimatum and Harry Potter. Your reviews are fairly accurate. Good post.
I agree that people are hypocrites because it is permissible to like Harry Potter but not Star Wars. However, people who wait for a store to open at midnight so they can buy a book and read it all night have serious problems. Also, I think you need to give each movie stars or thumbs up/down as part of your reviews. It would feel more like I was reading a professional Siskel and Ebert review that way. Otherwise, very nice.
All work on some sort of stars/thumbs ranking system and get back to you.
I loved the Keith Richards cameo in Pirates, but I think it has some strong cameo-competition from Alice Cooper in Wayne's World. Honorable mention also goes to Chuck Norris in Dodgeball, Sean Connery in Robin Hood, and anyone from the battle of the news-teams in Anchorman.
Yes those are all strong cameos. Virtually any time a rock star makes a cameo it gets a nod from me. I had forgotten about the Sean Connery cameo. Thats pretty good too.
I didn't see any of those movies, but the reviews all sound accurate to me. Good job.
i think you failed to mention that while watching transformers you yelled out at the screen and even cried at moments... you LOVED all those cheesy scenes!
I can appreciate a real chessy scene. Thats part of the whole summer movie thing. I don't think I yell too much and I know that I don't cry.
"And then Harry Potter and his friends burned for witchcraft....the end"
My first born child will be named Jason Bourne. No Jarvis. Just Bourne (and I might change my name to Jarvis Bourne). Hopefully my first born is a boy, or that will a long three years of middle school.
On a unrelated objective note. Bourne was the best of the summer.
Don't forget to mention that Shia LeBeouf just went from dork on the Disney Channel to his second straigh movie, this one being a blockbuster, where his character is scripted to successfully pursue a gorgeous girl. Tough life there Indiana Jones
Not seeing Ocean's 13 this summer is kinda like going to the dance, having the most gorgeous girl at the ball ask you to dance and you turn her down. Ocean's 13 was one hot girl. Absolutely amazing. Go dance with that girl, tommy. You won't be disappointed.
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